Fitness

Friday update!

OK, so it has become a bit of a tradition on my Facebook to do these Friday updates. Since I am not reading Facebook... No, really.  I only went on there and looked at the alerts because someone sent me a link to a funny video via messenger!  I wasn't reading the timeline or anything!

Anyway!  The Friday update.

As people who have been following might remember, I had a problem in that I was only making 36% of my fitness goals.  People who have been following also may have noticed I don't hold much for allowing myself to backslide on this.  Since then, I have been making 56% of my fitness goals with plans to add more walks over the weekend.

That was really where I was falling off was on the weekends.  I was also taking Lyft to go too many places or renting a Zipcar.  While this is all well and good if I need to, I also need to remember that a HUGE portion of my fitness success has to do with the fact that I am eschewing driving in favor of busing because busing means walking and walking means more exercise and... you get the picture.

On the one hand, it will allow me to walk more, but it will also save money.  and right now?  Every spare dollar goes into paying down debt and eliminating student loans. Over the years, I had fallen woefully behind on some things.  If I am going to make my goals of home ownership in 5 years, I need to get better at that, and that necessarily means the spare stuff now goes to take care of when I had no spare stuff.

All of this, of course, has most to do with my having a job which allows me the comfort to be able to take care of these things.  It's extremely difficult to worry about your fitness or your credit rating if you don't have food security or housing security, and this job means I have both.

I was worried for a bit there.  As mentioned in my last post, I had my annual review.  I hadn't had the best reviews in the past, and that came as somewhat of a surprise the first time.  I hadn't been getting a lot of negative feedback at Real, but that first review hit hard.  They had a policy of comparing your progress with your peer progress.  If you did not do as good or better than your peers, you received a bad review.  In the first review, it was attendance.  While I was within the bounds of the leave policy, I had missed 2 more days than my peers.  That meant a Personal Improvement Plan which followed me for the next year.

Hulu is different.  The review was about the level of work in comparison to the job and the skills displayed.  I am "consistently working above" my job level, which means a promotion and an 8% raise. Booya.  After years of feeling that I wasn't good enough and fearing that my impostor syndrome was actually me being an impostor, I can now say with confidence that I *am* a good tester.  That boost was just what I needed.

See, the anxiety around the job front along with generalized anxiety and a feeling that I was failing myself in some other areas was effecting my ability to avoid self destructive behaviors.  I was turtling on paying some bills I needed to for fear I would need the money because I was going to lose my job.  A ridiculous assumption, sure, but one which some people with depression can attest is overwhelming when it hits.

But it doesn't need to hit anymore.  I can relax a little and enjoy while I continue to make the improvements I need to.  I mean, hey, if I can get a promotion and an 8% raise this year, what can I do in the future?  Fine, fine, I do need to address a small piece of constructive feedback.  Apparently there is a feeling I can be a bit condescending if someone doesn't know a thing I think they should, or if someone comes across as willfully ignorant or constantly forgets an important piece of process.

Pff.  Whatever.  ;)

And that's what all of this is about.  A quest for constant improvement.  Whether it is my fitness, my job or my emotional well being, I need to take the steps I must to get to where I want to be.  Right now that's more "not that" than "yes, this", but I'll figure that out.  In the mean time, 364 on the scale, higher up on the job ladder, less me to move,  more money in the checks, and goals.  I think I am doing pretty well.